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Flatulence Inoculation: A New Low For Vaccine Manufacturers

A new low for vaccine researchers has just been reached in New Zealand where scientists claim to have developed a "flatulence inoculation" aimed at cutting down on the amount of methane produced by its sheep and cows.

Phil Goff, New Zealand's trade minister, told an Organisation for Economic Co-Operation and Development (OECD) in Paris yesterday that a solution was in sight to more than half of the country's greenhouse gases which he believes is being caused by cow farts.

"Our agricultural research organisation just last week was able to map the genome ... that causes methane in ruminant animals and we believe we can vaccinate against" flatulent emissions, Mr Goff said.

Scientists in New Zealand have been working around-the-clock to reduce emissions from agriculture, such as changing the way fertilisers are used on pasture land, Mr Goff added.

Sheep, cattle, goats and deer produce large quantities of gas through belching and flatulence, as their multiple stomachs digest grass.

The 45 million sheep and 10 million cattle in New Zealand burped and farted about 90 percent of that country's methane emissions, according to government figures (of course).

In the past New Zealand's farmers have showed their disgust at government plans to impose an animal "flatulence tax" by sending parcels of manure to members of parliament.

Our question is, when will New Zealand decide to vaccinate humans for flatulence? What about vaccinating all living things for exhaling CO2 or inhaling too much O2? When does the insanity end?


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