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Being Unvaccinated Now Responsible For Unfathomable Problems In Our Society - A Must Read (Satire)

It was recently brought to my attention that unvaccinated populations are now responsible for so many shocking problems in our society. I had no idea that not receiving a vaccine was causing so many strange symptoms, most which I have never heard of until they were reported by the mainstream media. If you're on the fence, and keep thinking 'should I vaccinate or not?', here's a short list of problems that should shock us all into perhaps considering vaccination.


Being unvaccinated will cause:

- Rapid eye movement, but not even while you're sleep
- Your left pinky toe constantly wants to be beside your right pinky toe
- A sudden urge to uncontrollably flap your arms like a turkey
- Colds to become the flu and the flu to become ebola spontaneously
- A very slow but uncontrollable twitch in your right gluteus maximus
- The dishes to accumulate at unexpected levels (impossible to reverse)
- A need to question things on the news (this one is a huge problem)
- A tendency to speak with your tongue in between your teeth
- The migration of unexpected species of birds to your door
- A reflex slap to your own buttocks every fifth step you take
- A need to say "who let dogs out" to any cashier you encounter
- A constant need to love your neighbours (another very big problem)
- An inclination towards wanting to ride a donkey every Thursday
- An attraction towards people who do cart wheels on buses
- A desire to wear wings and refer to yourself as 'The Queen Fairy'
- A strange habit of doing hand stands while you pee
- An impulse to hit your chest because you don't hear your heart
- A strong appetite for pickles with nutella (rare but being reported)

This only a short list of the problems. I ask that all my readers who I have spent years informing on the benefits of being unvaccinated, please report additional symptoms you are experiencing from lacking vaccines so we can build a master list. Many of these symptoms are now being repeated, over and over, and then repeated again, over and over in the mainstream media. Considering all of the above, I think the choice of now being unvaccinated is far too frightening.


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