Believe it or not, couples who
don't
make their children the center of their universe end up raising
healthier children. In being happy with each other, they give
their kids the greatest gift of all: a solid marriage for
them to learn from and, one day, replicate in their own lives.
Not to mention, these couples save themselves in the process.
It's a radical concept these days to say "no" to the pressure
to be a perfect parent. Three-year-olds are interviewed
for the most coveted preschool because of the domino-effect
-- the preschool determines the rest of school which determines
college which determines the path of an adult's life. A
bit much for both parent and child, wouldn't you say?
And if you're not gunning for the elite school, it's the
after-school activities or the perfect home that is sucking
all of your energy into its vortex.
A recent large-scale study found that 62% of women without
children reported high marital satisfaction, while just
38% of mothers did so. The study also found that couples
who became parents over the last decade experienced a drop
in marriage satisfaction twice as large as that reported
by parents in the 1960s and 1970s.
Today, women especially feel that if they are not giving
everything of themselves -- emotionally, physically and
logistically -- then they are not being good mothers. Raising
kids is among the most important jobs there is, but so is
nurturing a loving, happy relationship with your lifelong
partner.
Instead of giving into the myth or the expectation that
marriages lose their spark when the kids come around, we
need to refocus our energies on the husband-wife relationship
and nurture the passionate connection. It's not easy and
it's not common, but one day you'll thank yourself for doing
it.
Love your children...with all your heart. But be in
love with your husband or wife.
