The holidays have arrived and while this is a joyful and exciting time, this can also be a stressful time for some. Let's take a look at ways we can relax year-round. It has been demonstrated in numerous studies that reducing stress will prolong your life and improve the quality of your everyday living experience.

Too often, I see clients in my office who are "stressed out." This manifests in a number of ways: Relationship difficulties, smoking, overeating, alcohol and drug use, etc.

All of these (when caused by stress) can be easily eliminated from our lives.

Most of the stress-related problems we face can be eliminated by making a few simple adjustments in our lives and forming some good mental-maintenance habits.

Here are some of the steps you can take to reduce your stress:

Eliminate from your life every person and activity that drains you. Easier said than done? Try it. Simply stop participating in activities that take more than they give. Things that waste your time, resources, emotions, etc. If you are in a debilitating relationship of any kind, end it today. Cut the tie. Move on.

Take time to meditate. Set aside a half hour each day for yourself. Meditation doesn't have to mean that you sit in a lotus position in a robe looking at a candle. You can meditate in the morning while lying in bed staring at the ceiling, at night by going for a walk, in the shower, while cleaning, while washing your car, while painting, while writing, while swimming, while relaxing in a hot tub, while waiting in a doctor's office, etc. There are so many opportunities for us to take a mental break, focus on ourselves, and gain clarity of thought. During the meditation, do the following:

1) Allow all of those chatty voices to talk. You know the ones... all of those conversations that play over and over in your head. The conversations you dwell on such as 'Why did so-and-so say that? Why did I say that? Why did he do that? What does that mean? When will this or that happen?'

2) Once they have quieted down, enjoy the nothingness, the silence, the occasional random thought among the placid lake you are beginning to imagine. This, just like step 1, requires almost no effort on your part; allow it to happen naturally.

3) This is the best part - focus your attention on a result. It could be the way you want your day to turn out, the job you want to create, the relationship you want to create or heighten, the house you want to buy, etc. It can be a short term or long term goal. Rather than thinking about all the reasons you can't get there, just focus on being there... in that job, relationship, house, etc. This is very powerful. The subconscious mind does not have the ability to distinguish between reality and fantasy. If you imagine something often enough, your subconscious mind will see it as reality and find ways to create it in your life. If you focus on that house often, you will be amazed at how many little ways you find to make it happen in reality. Maybe you meet that real estate agent and start a conversation about your dream house; "coincidentally" they have that very house available to show you this afternoon. Perhaps, as happened to a friend of mine, you run into that book agent, mention your dream book, and he makes the appropriate calls to get you the book deal you envisioned. The trick is to convince yourself that it has already happened, then your mind becomes programmed to make it reality.

Believe in infinite possibility and you will be rewarded. Always focus on the result, not the process or obstacles, the RESULT. Basketball players focus on the basket and imagine the ball going through it. They don't focus on all the people running around trying to stop them. Bowlers focus on the "pocket," that spot between the front pin and one of the pins next to it. They don't focus on the ball. Top sales people focus on the next "yes", not the 99 "no's" between now and then. Create a clear vision of the result and hold it steady in your mind. There is unlimited power in focus.

When we allow those voices to settle down, focus on nothing, then slowly focus our thoughts on the future we want, stress has no place in our lives. We drain the power from the dragon, we put it to rest, then we appropriately focus that power where we want it - we focus it on the powerful future we are creating for ourselves, our loved ones, and our friends. When we gain control of our lives, we inspire others to do the same. Live as an example of human potential. Live in infinite possibility.