Help for the Holiday Blues
Excerpt By Jenette Restivo, ABCNews.com

Quality family time and office parties are not everyone's image of the holidays. Experts give tips on avoiding a holiday meltdown this season.

For most of us, the purpose of the holidays is to bring peace, love, and goodwill towards all. Yet, for many, the holiday season often means stress, fatigue, pressure, disappointment and loneliness.

These feelings, often known as the "holiday blues," may be even more prevalent this year, due to the emotional turmoil of the past few months, not to mention the unsteady economy.

Experts say even the more ritual tasks of shopping, decorating, late-night parties, cooking, planning and family reunions can be holiday stressors. In addition, the psychological phenomenon known as seasonal affective disorder, or SAD, may bring a specific type of depression related to winter's shorter days and longer nights.

"Certainly just because it's the holidays doesn't mean people are going to be happy," says Dr. Doug Jacobs of Harvard University. "And this will be a particularly hard holiday for some who are dealing with a lost jobs, debt, or even a lost loved one."

A Family Affair

Most experts say the predominant culprits responsible for the melancholy many experience during the holidays are the very people they love the most — their family.

"Holiday blues or depression makes sense," says John Stutesman, a clinical psychologist at Northwestern Memorial Hospital in Chicago. "Holidays tend to be about family reunion. They bring up Norman Rockwell images of families drinking eggnog by the fire, singing Christmas Carols." In reality, he explains, family gatherings bring on stress due to feelings of obligation, expectations and being judged.

And with family reunions becoming less frequent events over the years, there is now the added pressure of getting just one chance to get it all right. "Families are much more disparate now," says Stutesman. "There's now the pressure to get it all perfect."

The disappointment and sense of alienation that often results from family gatherings, he adds, is actually a realization that "the fantasy is not met."

The Holiday Suicide Myth Debunked

But do "the blues" brought on by the holidays necessarily mean that an individual is "depressed"? Experts say no; these are two different things. "Stress, what's been called the blues, is not depression," says Jacobs.

Sadness and "blues," Jacobs explains, usually go away, or are at least diminished, over several weeks or a month. Depression persists for a longer period of time and is accompanied by changes in sleep patterns, appetite, or energy levels. Depression also often requires the help of a clinical professional.

Experts also point out that the common belief that suicide rates are elevated during the winter holidays is a myth. "In fact, there are more suicides in spring," explains Dan Romer, a research director at the Annenberg Public Policy Center of the University of Pennsylvania.

"December is actually the lowest month for suicide," agrees Jacobs. "One would intuit you have higher suicide rate in December, but you don't."

Getting Beyond the Blues

Still, say experts, the blues should be addressed. The most essential step, says Stutesman, is for the individual to acknowledge their feelings and the reason for their withdrawal. "Denial will only compound the stress they're feeling."

Ideally, he adds, there will be a supportive relationship for individuals to take solace in. Stutesman also recommends people do things that are normally comforting in order to get a handle on the holiday stress. "If they're feeling a little blue, they should try to do things personally satisfying for them. Maybe this is exercise, cooking, reading a book, or massage." Anything that gets them active and out, rather than alienated.

Stutesman also advises that sometimes "avoidance is actually not such a bad idea." In some situations, fulfilling social obligations may be self-destructive when the best thing may be to just stay home. "The healthy choice," counsels Stutesman, "has to do with taking care of oneself."

For more tips on beating the holiday blues, go to Center for Disease Control and Prevention's site .

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