Too
Much 'Macho' Not Good for a Marriage
Excerpt
By Alison McCook,
Reuter's
Health
NEW YORK (Reuters Health) - Married men who are overly and stereotypically
"masculine"--too driven, emotionally closed off, and focused on
work rather than family--tend to have wives who are relatively
unhappy and dissatisfied with the marriage, new study findings
show.
Men who possess traits that are considered to be stereotypically
male--consumed by success and power, uncomfortable showing affection
toward other men, attuned to work over family--are in a state
of gender role conflict, according to study author Matthew J.
Breiding of the University of Notre Dame in Indiana.
While possessing some of these traits is normal, when men have
too many, or express them in an over-the-top way, their relationships
with others--including their wives--will be affected, Breiding
explained in an interview with Reuters Health.
Adopting a gender role to a rather extreme degree is what "gets
a man into trouble," Breiding said.
Previous studies have shown that men who have gender role conflict
also tend to show certain behaviors that can be difficult for
others, such as hostility, dominance and anger. In addition, these
men may hesitate to open up emotionally to their wives--all of
which can affect the health and happiness of a marriage, according
to Breiding.
In the new study, Breiding and Dr. David A. Smith asked 59 married
couples to complete a scale designed to measure the husband's
level of gender role conflict. The husband filled out one scale
for himself, while his wife completed one on him. Spouses then
indicated how content they were in their marriages and whether
they felt depressed or unhappy.
The investigators found that the higher the state of gender
role conflict in the husband--according to him or his wife--the
less happy the wife was in the marriage. Such couples also tended
to have more disagreement over marital issues, and the wives were
more likely to be depressed.
Husbands were also negatively affected by gender role conflict,
but not to the degree that their wives were, the authors note.
Breiding and Smith presented their findings this month during
the 110th annual meeting of the American Psychological Association
in Chicago, Illinois.
In the interview, Breiding explained that men likely develop
their gender role conflict from influences such as role models
and messages from media and others that stress the importance
of success in work, rather than in relationships.
He noted that a woman may also influence how her husband perceives
his gender role and, therefore, may in part be responsible for
the husband's potentially destructive self-image. "Certainly,
I think the wives can have a reciprocal influence," he said.
Breiding added that his results can also be interpreted in a
positive light, since there are apparently many men out there
who are not in a state of gender role conflict and have happy,
mutually satisfying marriages.
More and more men are "receiving different messages of what
it means to be a man," Breiding explained. "That can have a transformative
effect on how they interact with their wives and other male friends."
Reference
Source 89
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