Talking Kids Through the 'Terrible Twos'
Excerpt By Charnicia E. Huggins, Reuter's Health

NEW YORK (Reuters Health) - How parents handle the frequent temper tantrums and other conflicts that arise during their toddler's "terrible twos" influences the child's approach to resolving conflict later on, as well as his or her emotional and moral development, new study findings suggest.

"Given that these (parent-toddler) conflicts are an important part of daily life, children are learning from these conflicts," study author Dr. Deborah J. Laible, an assistant professor of psychology at Southern Methodist University in Dallas, Texas, told Reuters Health.

Laible and co-author Dr. Ross A. Thompson of the University of Nebraska-Lincoln studied 63 mother-toddler pairs over a 6-month period, starting when the toddlers were 30 months old. Observations were made both in a laboratory setting and in the toddlers' homes.

On average, mother-toddler conflict at 30 months occurred roughly 19 times per hour, during various activities including snack time, free playtime and cleanup, the researchers report in a recent issue of the journal Child Development.

Mothers who gave their children clear and extensive explanations during conflicts, for why they could not play with a certain toy, for example, rather than using threats or simple insistence without any reasoning, tended to have children who also justified their actions during similar conflicts, study findings indicate.

"Simple insistence without explanation--i.e., 'I told you so'--isn't helpful for the child," Laible said.

Clear and detailed explanations at 30 months also seemed to predict a high level of emotional and moral understanding when the children were 3 years old, the authors note. The children were better able to identify their own emotions and to resist the temptation to play with forbidden toys at that age.

In light of the findings, "parents really have to be open in communication, they need to justify their side of an argument," Laible said. Further, "if the child can make a pretty decent argument it bodes well for the parent to occasionally resolve and give in," she added.

"In conclusion, the results from the present study suggest that differences in the frequency and nature of parent-toddler conflict relate to later individual differences in socioemotional and sociomoral development," Laible and Thompson write.

SOURCE: Child Development 2002;73:1187-1203.

Reference Source 89

For more information on how to prevent other diseases, use
PreventDisease.com's "Quick Prevention Resources".