How Hairy Potter Banished The CoreX
With 7 Magic Words
By William Thomas
The hour was indeed late and growing dire... Under blindly ravenous greed and addiction, the Whole Wide World was being swamped by towering Micro-Waves!
Tall towers festooned with RF dishes and even more powerful WiMax emitters stalked across the land like death ray-spitting alien tripods. Except this “War Of The Worlds” was for real as electromagnetic rays rotted DNA and structural steel with equal alacrity under an invisible barrage of high-speed cyclic vibrations called “frequencies”.
Once a Micro-Wave reared up in a region, it grew exponentially. Like some swelling doomsday creature, its ever-increasing wavelengths caused relentless wireless whiplash that would go on bending the molecules in everything from living cells to bridge cables and oil pipelines, back-and-forth billions of times every second… until life itself became infertile and barren. And civilisation sick and broken.
Rapidly rising levels of electromagnetic radiation were actually starting to look quite catastrophic. As initiators and advocates of the Wireless Plague, a quarter-million Swedes were now collecting government compensation for something the Soviets were calling “microwave sickness” back in the 1950’s. How many British Californians would soon be joining the ranks of those permanently allergic to electrical fields?
Suddenly a puff of Screen Dust eddied into a 3-D display showing Oh That Smarts Meters buzzing like angry locusts. Unlike personal wireless devices, which can be switched off, or even better, not purchased at all (Google “Coltan and the Congo”) – German homeowners were finding that Oh That Smarts Meters can only be turned off with an axe.
Hairy Potter opened his School Book and read:
Once upon a time, soon after Susan’s wireless meter was installed, her ears began ringing. She would suddenly awaken around 2 every morning, unable to get back to sleep. Other household members also complained of these effects. Then she started feeling nauseous. Everything started spinning. Whenever Susan used her iPad or cell phone, she was speared by headaches. It seemed inconceivable that her home, her haven, would be polluted 10,000 times a day with Great Big Spikes of dirty energy that were making her ill. And no one in charge of the Oh That Smarts Meters would remove them or even care at all.
Hairy Potter waved his arm and the Screen Dust zoomed back to show an ever-expanding grid of Oh That Smarts Meter “Collectors” tacked onto every 22nd house. Even more DNA-damaging “Routers” sprouted from nearby power poles and cell phone towers to send those bundles of high-frequency signals to the Evil Castle of Volt-Mort where the hydra lurked. Rendered visible simply by wrinkling Hairy Potter’s nose, electrosmog streamed from thousands of neighbourhood transmitters like pulp mill stacks running flat out after dark.
But this spreading electrosmog threatened to smother the Entire Earth!
“We have to stop the Micro-Waves before they drown us all!” Hairy Potter called to the Townspeople waiting anxiously to enter this story.
“Oh no,” some of them wailed. “If we raise our drawbridge, the BC Hydra will stretch out one of its necks and chomp off our electricity.”
“Who says so?” Hairy Potter demanded.
“The BC Hydra, of course!” responded the Townspeople, wondering if Hairy was as dumb as two transformers struck by solar flares.
“What does the ‘BC’ mean?” he quizzed.
“‘Bee Cease’!” chorused the Townspeople, shaking their heads. But Hairy wasn’t really that dumb. He was just trying to get them to think for themselves. And to properly post their premises and lock their meters while there was still time…
“What will you eat if the bees cease?” he asked.
Everyone looked at each other.
“This hydra you fear is mostly created in your own minds,” Hairy pointed out. “How many times has this over-hyped BC Hydra cut off power to anyone paying their bills? I mean actually, as well as really.”
“Well, now that you really actually mention it, not ever and very possibly never,” the Townspeople cautiously replied.
“The government says BC Hydra cannot deny this essential service, so long as you are paying for it,” Hairy Potter said. “Otherwise, the courts will make short work of this silly serpent. Wouldn’t that be fun?”
“We would like to see the hydra tamed,” the Townspeople agreed. “And living on a small island, we are already quite used to living without electricity for days at a time. So let’s stop the… ”
Just then, a huge black shadow flew right at them!
But Hairy Potter stood unmoving beside his trusty Abacus meter. Unlike an Oh That Smarts Meter, which isn’t a meter at all, his old fashioned mechanical counter actually measured the electricity flowing through his incoming power line – instead of billing him for every stray electrical field within and around it, and using software “guesstimates” to inflate his invoice.
With so many Townspeople standing their ground, everyone quickly discerned that the big scary shadow was actually being cast by very small van. Somebody laughed.
But not for long.
Not when they saw the “CoreX” stenciled on the side of the approaching vehicle.
A gigantic Police Car trailed in its wake.
“Oh noooo,” some of the Townspeople moaned, running inside and pulling 100% organic cotton covers from the Free Store over their trembling heads. “We are even more scared of our own Poleece!”
The van stopped in front of Hairy Potter.
The Police Car stopped behind the van.
The CoreX got out. Towering over Hairy, it advanced with an Oh That Smarts Meter almost lost in its huge paw. Were those gross long claws really real, Hairy wondered? Or am I creating them in my mind?
The two Police Officers did not come onto his yard. Instead, they stood on the road with their arms crossed over their holstered guns, watching Hairy Potter.
The Townspeople nearby – as well as those standing not quite so close – watched Hairy Potter, too. Some squinted at camera phones aimed at him and the CoreX.
What was he going to do now?
“Fee fie foe fooey,” the CoreX huffed and puffed. “Stand aside. I have the right under the very small print of the contract you signed to come onto your premises and mess with your meter.”
Hairy Potter did not move. (He knew that BC Hydra could only come onto this property to read, repair or replace his Abacus meter with the same type. The new wireless meters were illegally toxic. Hadn’t Horton heard a WHO saying, “Class 2B carcinogen?”)
“House fires, identity theft and 24/7 radiation are perfectly safe,” the CoreX tried again. “Trust me.”
“Blah blah blah.”
“Double-blah with sugar on top?” asked the CoreX hopefully.
Suddenly a loud chime signalled, “Magic Incantation Time”!
“Ooooh,” sighed the Townspeople. What “7 Magic Words” could Hairy Potter utter to make the CoreX go away forever?
Hairy Potter looked right into the eyes of the CoreX.
“Leave my property immediately,” Hairy ordered.
“You are trespassing.”
A strong gust of legality playfully ruffled the hair of the CoreX, which had suddenly shrunk to the size of small uncertain poodle.
It nearly blew the police officers away, along with their toy car.
Then Hairy Potter remembered the short note from his neighbours, authorising him to protect their posted meters from the CoreX in their absence. Everyone on his block had exchanged similar signed permissions.
Hairy knew he had to keep calm. If he made any kind of impolite or shooing-away gesture, if he raised his voice or uttered naughty words, the CoreX could demand the Police arrest him. Or they might detain him all by themselves, causing all further resistance to go see what was for lunch.
But Hairy Potter did not make any move or gesture that could be construed as a threat. He did not say bad words. And he had not raised his voice. Recognising the primacy of the Very Old Law of Trespass and that he was Acting Within His Rights, the Policewoman and Policeman reclassified Hairy Potter as a Good Citizen they were charged to protect…
And turned their attention to the CoreX.
The CoreX suddenly realised that if it did not leave Hairy’s yard instantly, the Police would arrest it for trespassing.
They could also capture the CoreX for attempting to tamper with the meter without its owner’s permission. While ownership of the old Abacus meters was sometimes fuzzy, no one could dispute that the original homeowner – and all those who followed – owned the meter base to which it was attached!
This frightened the CoreX even more!
Then everyone realised that with Hairy Potter and everyone around him threatened by electromagnetic-induced illnesses, invasions of privacy, consumer identity theft, house fires, hacked hydro bills, ruined computers and home appliances, and even the Big C… the CoreX could simply be busted for reckless endangerment.
And if it ever came to court, Hairy was ready to invoke the Defense of Necessity that temporarily supersedes all lesser laws for the Higher Good of protecting one’s home and innocent lives. (The BC Human Rights Commission had just agreed to hear the case.)
The CoreX departed with alacrity befitting its peril.
Now guess who’s the real Hairy Potter…
So stay cool. Standing in silent solidarity with your neighbours, breathe deeply and reach for your own power, which you will quickly find comes from a friendly Source much, much bigger than any boogeyperson, whose girth depends on the energy you give it.
Don’t try to argue with a CoreX.
Do not plead, threaten, explain or debate.
Just utter these 7 Magic Words: “Leave my* property immediately. You are trespassing.”
And the CoreX must depart.
*(“Leave this property immediately” if your absent neighbour’s meter is properly posted.)
There is sufficient evidence already in existence that proves just how bad GMO's are for living organisms. Bear in mind that mice and rats are used in experiments because their physiognomy is sufficiently similar to humans that they are suitable for testing.
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