Don't I Enjoy Sex?
that women may not be enjoying sex are numerous and often complex.
Sexual experiences reflect the mingling of the mind and the body.
What goes on in the mind is affected not only by what is going
on sexually and non-sexually between the partners, but by everything
that has gone on in the woman's life. Sometimes even experiences
from childhood can be relevant. This means that what she feels
when her body is being stimulated by her partner depends not only
on the partner's skill, gentleness, care, and ability to be guided
by her needs, but also by what is going on in her mind as all
of this proceeds.
slow approach to sexual play works best
can be pleasured in many ways, include sexual talking, caressing,
holding, and physical contact of all of the partner's body. Focusing
early on genital stimulation is often neither pleasant nor arousing,
and may even create negative feelings, both physically and emotionally.
Similarly, the potential for pleasure from breast touch is usually
high but, again, the timing, type and duration of touch that a
woman will enjoy can be extremely variable, not only from woman
to woman but from one occasion to the next.
don't I feel anything?
clitoris - sexually sensitive, but hidden organ
Lack of stimulation
from intercourse is a common concern. Sensing little physical
response from the vagina itself is actually quite appropriate
- the vagina is beautifully designed to deliver a baby, and large
numbers of highly sensitive nerve endings would be inappropriate.
Women have plenty of sexually sensitive structures, but most of
them are hidden.
is much more extensive than the tiny part that may show under the
clitoral hood. The
head of the clitoris is highly sensitive, and many women prefer
that it not be stimulated directly. This can be stimulated by a
finger placed about 1 inch into the vagina, stimulating the front
wall. Some women may initially find that this sensation reminds
them of an urge to pass urine, but on repeated occasions, pleasure,
high arousal and orgasms can be experienced (some have referred
to this as the "G" spot).
path to greater pleasure
who feel little pleasure from sexual activity need to consider
the different possibilities that might be at the root of it: whether
they feel sufficient trust and emotional closeness with their
partner, or whether issues from their past are interfering. If
this is the case, psychologists, physicians or counselors might
be appropriate people to ask for help.